You never see it coming, the one thats meant for you
But old wives tales and sayings? Bout nothing much ado!
Its all part of lifes rich pattern, worse things happen at sea
But I was caught quite unawares with my epiphany
For no apparent reason, of nothing apropos
A little thought was triggered from the archives down below
We were sitting at the table one freezing winter morn
I minding my own business whilst still stifling a yawn
She looked across the Cheerios and sort of eaten toast
And in between the questions about bills and Sunday roast
She said, Have you seen this article theyve written recently?
Its the modern noughties womans guide to minimal feng shui.
I tried to feign indifference, of hearty breakfast make the most
And dream of vestal virgins long since headed for the coast
But she wasnt having any and persisted with her theme
Allowing no flirtation with Gary Brookers shaded dream
It says these days our houses are overburdened now with stuff
Ephemera, knick-knacks, mementos and carpets full of fluff
To move on to the future, why, there cannot be a doubt
If its neither beautiful nor practical we should simply throw it out.
In amongst the hectoring, something struck a chord
Mere raising of an eyebrow but inside the lion roared
Are there any limits? To exactly what extent?
Is it just confined, my dear, to inanimate content?
And then, by God, it started; the flicker became a flame
Before long an inferno, a passion none could tame
What on earth am I doing, going along with this?
Endless witty put downs and subtle taking of piss.
The human soul is powerful, a fortress seldom breached
And man is like an island, weve often heard it preached
But man is also helpless and open to abuse
His head rests on your pillow rather better than in your noose
His strength comes from togetherness, not confidence undermined
Lifes not a competition, wife! To complement, were designed
But it would have fallen on deaf ears, this flogging of dead horse
And just for now Ill be the one wholl exhibit true remorse
Repent at leisure, a dish served cold and other hackneyed verse
Empty advice from so-called friends will often make it worse
Theres nothing new to be acquired from satellite above
The answer, old friend, was blowing in the wind; its just respect and love
How apposite were Cheerios, I should have looked them up
In dictionary or book of words, or leaves in old tea cup
When lovins gone bad, theres no goin back to what you had before
We had good times, its true, my dear, before we went to war
Before we lose the will to live, Ill knock this on the head
But dont be bitter, sad, or regret Im no more in her bed
To stay together at all costs should be declared a crime
Just thank God I had the sense to leave you in your prime.